Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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