So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Randomize
