after a month anything with tits is on the radar
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Randomize
