This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
