i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
