giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
