i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
