i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
