i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
