I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
