When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
