why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
