Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize