There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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