What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
