It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
