When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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