He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
