You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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