And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
