the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
