i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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