I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
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