ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
