note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
