I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
