If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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