Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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