the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize