In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
