That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Is it because I queefed?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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