Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize