I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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