Soap is not a condiment
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize