your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize