Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I can text with my tongue
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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