and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
