Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
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