She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
