Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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