quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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