we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize