2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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