My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
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