At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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