No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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