Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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