I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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