its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
