And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
