google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
