Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
