You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize