You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Randomize