I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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